College Football · Week 1 · Aug 31–Sep 6
UCLA
W 45-24 at California · Sat, Sep 5 · 1-0 overall
Misery Index · Euphoric
One road rout in Berkeley, and the Bruins have already begun drafting the Bob Chesney canonization papers.
What happened
UCLA went to Berkeley and left with a 45-24 win, which is a strange and unfamiliar sensation for a fanbase that has spent recent seasons bracing for impact. The turning point was simply watching the new staff's offense look like it belonged, and the relief came out as theology: one fan imagined God explaining that He "made 2 blue and gold california public flagship universities with new coaching staf." At 1-0, the Bruins are undefeated and someone is already shouting that Bob Chesney saved his life. Week one is undefeated too.
What fans said
“a man asks God, how am i supposed to live, without my blue and gold california public flagship university with a new coaching staff and pacific islander quarterback God simply said "That is why I made 2 blue and gold california public flagship universities with new coaching staf”
u/Archelon225▲ 334joy
“IT’S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE AND BE A BRUIN, BOB CHESNEY YOU SAVED MY LIFE”
u/TeMilkMan▲ 172joy
“Missed you Cal, until next time 💙💛”
u/Vyllm▲ 101joy
“Dick Chesney will lead us to the promised land”
u/Away_Experience6922▲ 47hope
“Gorgeous 3 headed monster running game. That’s how you win football games”
u/JoshFB4▲ 27pride
“At long last, the return of a Bruin team I will watch for enjoyment rather than out of loyalty”
u/despideme▲ 25hope
Missing a quote that should be here? Send us the link