College Football · Week 1 · Aug 31–Sep 6

#22 Iowa

W 40-0 vs Northern Illinois · Sat, Sep 5 · 1-0 overall

42

Misery Index · Content

A 40-0 shutout, and the room still booked a doctor's appointment, because Iowa fans don't trust good news.

The emotional rollercoaster

Iowa fans’ misery during the game, every 15 minutes. Up is worse.

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What happened

Iowa opened with a 40-0 shutout of Northern Illinois and the fanbase sat at a 50 on the misery scale, which tells you everything about Iowa City. A 1-0 start, a scoreless opponent, and still the dominant mood was dread about what comes next. The turning point was the shutout itself — proof the defense travels, and proof nobody trusts it to matter. One fan needed "to see a doctor in about 4 hours." Another asked whether this continues "in perpetuity to an infinite negative?" Forty unanswered points, zero relief.

What fans said

  • “I'm gonna need to see a doctor in about 4 hours....”

    u/LastKnownNormal▲ 193despair

  • “Unfortunately you guys took our coach that makes people kick good :(”

    u/notanamateur▲ 44betrayal

  • “Continuing in perpetuity to an infinite negative?”

    u/CountTakesh1▲ 40despair

  • “Brian Ferentz will see that number and say 'I can do it better.'”

    u/Llama_Leaping_Larry▲ 38frustration

  • “There were athletes out there but there wasn't much direction. That team needs leaders”

    u/tittysprinkles112▲ 24frustration

  • “We’ve spent so damn long not having a QB that we’ve had 2.5 in the last two seasons.”

    u/rubbery_magician▲ 21frustration

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